Another adventure of Anh

I want to see my family in Vietnam again. That’s what partly makes me to screw myself with two-and-a-half jobs since last semester. I also had to give up visiting my other family – the one in the Boze. Yeah, most of you already know, the rest just don’t care. I am simply telling the reason why I had been bugged strongly with the fact that I would not go back to Mt. Consequently, sending cards to my Sukut family should be the very least thing I should have done to… “redeem” my responsibility (I am using words unseriously so please don’t take it serious).

On the 21^st, I finally got the mailing address of the Sukuts (no, I am gonna use a lot of the word “finally” so I should just say, “I got the address”). At that night, I found out an astonishing fact: there was not any single Christmas card in my room, and I had to buy some really soon. The only place to get cards that I knew was Walmart, and it was miles away. I didn’t have a car, nor any of my friends around. At that night, I – mysteriously – failed to catch the bus, which was really painful. Next day, things didn’t get any brighter and no car or bus or plane or ship came to my life. So after trying all the possible plans I could possibly make (and failed all), I decided to just walked to Walmart. (Well no, I did think of standing at the crossroads with a piece of cardboard but I preferred not to do it).

So I walked to Walmart. Some times like this makes me want to be smarter (so that I would at least come up with walking early) and to be in wonderful places like Narnia (so the weather would be sunny and warm and nice). Unfortunately none of these happened, and I started walking to Walmart at 10 pm and the temperature was about 5 F. (And no, I am definitely not praising myself or doing anything of that sort. This IS a story of mine, and you should simply read it just like a lame article on a random newspaper). It was not so warm to me and walking right next to cars in the dark was pretty adventurous. Well, finally I got to Walmart and was so thankful. Another “I survive” was said.

So basically I got the cards. The next step was to write them and send them. So on the 23^rd, I had to send the cards at any cost in order to get them reach Mt hopefully on time. However, things just got more and more hilariously unfortunate. I somehow finished writing the cards at 4: 40 pm, and the post office would close at 5. When I saw my watch, I realized a terrible thing: it was actually 4:50pm – 10 minutes later. Any second in such situation is critically important, so I didn’t even have time to be stunned but rushed my best to the post office.

One wonderful thing about Warrensburg was that it could get awesomely cold, but still rained like out of nowhere. And when the raindrops got to the earth, it froze to ice. I hadn’t seen anything that slivery in Montana, so even though I tried Holden’s Judo row, I fell on the street. My basketball shoes were totally useless and there was a “curly” bridge for me to go through. So I literarily used both arms and legs to move, and yeah, I got stuck there for at least five minutes. After that, the road didn’t get any less slivery but somehow I could run and jump and row with out falling again. And here we go, the post office!

It was 5:07. I stood in front of the closed door and couldn’t think or do anything. And since crying was still inappropriate for a man, so I ended up shaking my head and laughed.

The next day, the 24^th, I went to the post office right after I woke up, and yeah, it was before 5:00pm so the cards were finally sent. “They will reach there on Saturday”, the woman said. Ok, whatever.

So yeah, that’s my story. It is too late now for a Merry Christmas wish, but the whole world is waiting for the new year to come. So this time I’ll say,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

The extreme of randomness

When English wasn’t complete, there were two friends hanging out at the field. One of them was self-claimed to be a knowledgeable person who knew a lot of vocabularies. Suddenly his friend pointed toward the sky and asked:

- What is that?

Without any hesitation or even looking back, the so-called wise guy answered:

- It’s the sky.

However, his friend didn’t seem satisfied and said:

-Uhm… really?

- Yeah, the sky. – The smart guy started to be annoyed.

- Well, I don’t really think so… - His friend continued.

Now the smart guy reluctantly looked back.

- Yeah, that’s the sky! The sky, man!

Still pointing upward, the friend said:

- No, not the sky. That.

Really fast the smart guy said,

- Yeah, it’s the sky…

But this time he saw the strange thing that his friend was asking about, flying up high in the sky. So…

- It’s… sky… er…ky… tk…! – He started messing up.

- “Kite”? – His friend asked again, still looking at it amazedly.

- Yeah, it’s a "kite". Nice, eh?

Yup, and that’s how we have the word “kite”. The end.

The story is true, can you believe it? Well, except not, I just make it up. Never mind.

Anastasia is actually alright!!!

It was a rainy evening, and I just came back to my room from work. As usual, I checked my e-mails, and here I saw the most surprising thing I could ever think of: a message saying that a person in Myspace wanted to add me, and it was… Anastasia. ANASTASIA!!! Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I looked at her last name, and it was really hers. And the profile picture, it was her right there. It really was Anastasia, at last…!

How long was it? One year or two years? No, it was forever, since the day she left. Oh my, what a great joy! What a great pain!

Surprisingly, thinking of her still makes me hurt deeply even now. And just like any other time I did, memories just come back to me all at once…

-Anastasia, when you disappeared I was so confused. No one told me anything - any single thing! And I was just nobody but a powerless exchange student. So I just randomly heard Nam asking Chelsea: “Huh, her (some one) died?”, and assumed that it was your brother. And the next morning I asked Petra people to pray for him. (And it was actually Maria’s grandmother who died). Knowing the story, Mr. Baker said, “Well, then keep praying.” How amusing! Painfully amusing indeed.

-Anastasia, the Battle-B team and me had a break-dance show in the end and it was fun, though we screwed up a bit.

-Ana, we did our presentations about the Civil War, and we did really well. I presented mine while drawing a portrait of “Stone wall” Jackson, and it was ok.

-Ana, our house Pendragon have fought splendidly with Avilion that year, thought we lost in the end.

-Ana, we had the Renaissance Fair, and it was awesome. I got second place in drawing and singing with Nam. And my costume too, I made it with some sticky tape…

-Ana, we went to Helena to visit The Houses one day, and the trip was really nice. Everyone was observing and learning things, while I kept looking at the crowds for nothing.

-Ana, we played volleyball in the end of the spring, and it was fantastic.

-Ana, we had a play about Tom Thumb, and we did well in the play and people loved it. Oh, and I was the bailiff…

-Ana, I got only one B (in Mr. V’s class) and the rest were A’s. I graduated in the end, Ana, with a speech that even made some people cry.

-And Anastasia, I became a Christian! I am a Christian, you know, just like you. Oh God!

NO! I don’t want to tell you like these. I can’t. I only wished you had been there, if only you had! Now I don’t even know what to start to tell you with. Days and months have passed by, and things have changed so much. Now you have someone you love, and I am going to have mine. I don’t even know what to start with. We are just strangers now, Anastasia. But you know, the little nerve crush of a high school boy two years ago was just too clear as the sky of the day you left, and too deep as the last look I had from your eyes.

I ran out to the rainy night. The sky was crying.

Thank You, my Lord, for that what I have been praying is fulfilled. She is alright after all…

Spinning Halloween

Here is was I did on 10-31-2008:

12:00 am: I was home after work, and started reviewing for the tough finance test.

2:00 am: I felt quite hungry and made some noodle with egg. Tasted good.

3:00am: I finished eating and studying, I went to bed.

I slept.

8:15 am: I woke up, thinking how early I could possibly wake up like that.

I looked at the clock, realized that I forgot to press the button before going to bed.

I put on my shirt.

I changed my pants.

I ran straight from my room to the class. About half of the way, I felt exhausted and started walking.

I arrived. The test had started 15 minutes before.

9:00am: I gave my paper to the professor, and ran to work at the office.

10:30am: I am done working.

I came home, wrote a short essay for my scholarship application.

12:00pm: I sent my scholarship application, and headed to the cafeteria for lunch.

Then I ran to the library to finish my research for my Composition 2 class.

I realized that my backpack was opened, and my binder was gone.

It was at the office, so I ran there and take it.

3:00pm: I am done researching. I printed it and ran to my instructor’s office to put it in her mailbox.

3:15pm: I arrived at my workplace, knowing that I was 15 minutes late.

My friend called, telling about the Halloween party. Shoot, I didn’t have a costume. What could I possibly think of…?

Many of my co-workers were gone for parties, so there were only two people there. I did the work of several people at once, while my boss was messing with Facebook.

7:30pm: I was done, finally.

I came home.

People were gone for the bonfire. I was late for that.

So I didn’t have to get a costume, I thought.

7:33 pm: I sat down. Done.

--------------------

BONUS:

The haunted house in Kansas City

Truly is scary

But since there is hope

Surely there is peace

As I can see…

Warrensburg, Oct 31, 2008

A "blast"

What happened last week was - as Richard would really likely to say - a blast, only this time it was really a blast literally. Here goes the story:

There was an indoor-soccer tournament in UCM (University of Central Missouri, my college), and we Vietnamese formed a team of five and joint it, and I was the goalie. The other team was all Americans, which had two characteristics: they were huge, and they didn’t play soccer much. So as a matter of fact, we had to face big guys who were playing kick-ball, which was bad, especially for the goalie. So for the whole game, I tried my best to cover the wide goal desperately. When I caught the ball, the American attackers still tried to kick the ball, so I got kicked and fell many times pretty painfully. (The referees were also Americans, and they didn’t know the rule well neither, so there was no foul.)

When the game had only 25 seconds left, it was a tie: 5-5. I said to my self that I would not let them score anymore, even if it’d cost my life. And this was where I had “the blast”. In the very last second, one huge guy from the other team managed to get the ball through everyone, and before I knew it, the ball went straight to my face, one spectacle of my glasses got pulled out, and the metal part of the glasses was bend and cast away. I got totally knocked out as an epic loser. We lost.

Right after the game, I had to get to work, and there I acknowledged a new dimension of harshness, while walking under the freezing rain, with my glasses bended, my legs sore, and my right thumb broken.

Well, what can I say now, I survive!

An entry on 10-18-2008

I don’t remember how but, while watching the debate between McCain and Obama, suddenly I thought of the cute little Shadiah. She has been taught all the stuffs, including many things about American presidents from the beginning. But one day when I randomly asked her, “Shadiah, who is the current president of America?” .She hesitantly answered, “Abraham Lincoln?” I laughed, so she turned a bit shy and answered me again really softly, “Is it ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt?”

Well, it’s a bit surprising when she didn’t know who the current president was, while she probably knew many other presidential facts than I did (tales, maybe). She was a little girl anyway. This leads to a more interesting thing: what would a little girl likely to remember would be the things which are significant (like A. Lincoln), and things which are somehow related to her (such as a teddy bear). Things should be similar to little boys also, and if parents and teachers can take advantage of this, well, they can somewhat control what they want the children to learn and believe – useful though scary.

It’s Chelsea birthday yesterday, so, happy birthday to you, my dearest sister! (maybe she doesn’t even know about this blog, how amusing… ^^)

I am back.

It’s me. It’s Anh. I know, I have not posted anything here for decades. And I surely have been feeling terribly sorry. Excuses? I suppose I have some, since lives change, and my life has changed surprisingly since the new semester started. But as Mama Sukut said, “The busiest person I’ve ever known is Mr. Gianforte, but he still blogs.” Therefore, no excuse is sufficient. Most people don’t accept lame excuses, but unfortunately I like giving explanations. So here is it.

For every single weekend I have been thinking, “I have to post something up there! I have to post something up there!” But then, just like T. Coraghessan Boyle describes how a murder response to a detective’s question “What happened next?” in his story Greasy Lake, “I don’t know, something came over me. Exactly.” Exactly. And failing to keep my promise takes away my courage to read others’ blogs, and things get only worse.

Because of that, couple minutes ago, I said to myself I had to fix this as soon as possible. And so, trying to forget all the tests and works and stuffs for a moment, I am typing something for this blog right now. Yeah, I am back.

Things need to be changed a bit. I can’t really blog every weekend as I wanted, so I’ll change to …Mr. Koenen’s solution, which means I will blog here whenever I do. Secondly, I will sadly change my purpose of blogging in this page. I will not always be “composing” here, but instead will do what Richard has suggested, “telling what happens”. Hopefully this will make things easier.

This sounds like a sad stuff, but I have to go now. I am being late for my job. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some to eat before working. So yeah, I will read and comment your blogs later. Good to be back again.

B for Becoming better

When I graduated from Petra, I clearly understood that I was an incomplete graduate, that I lacked so many things which any true Patrafied graduate should have had. Since then, I have been concerned how to become more sophisticated.

I was thinking about it again yesterday night, and suddenly realized one stunning fact: I have learned almost nothing from Mr. V’s Bible Interpretation class! I remember I have tried to ask several questions about Christianity, but they were all off-topic, so Mr. V denied to answer them, and Richard’s responses to my questions weren’t really efficient since I couldn’t understand much what he said back then. As a matter of fact, the only thing I think I’ve learned in that class was merely knowing “what’s going on” in the books Esther, Ruth, and the Gospels. I did not understand the “points” or any innate lesson from them, and I didn’t have any idea what the book Philippians was talking about. How crazy it truly was!

Surely, I am not going to criticize Mr. V at all, especially after watching “true” graduates making their speeches, any single one of them expressed how challenging Mr. V’s classes were, and how many things they have learned from him. However, I truly don’t think it was my fault neither (bad me.) I did try in that class and I got an A for the final, and a high B for the class. The only thing bothers me is that somehow I’ve missed a chance to be a better interpreter, and if only I could go back and attained his class again, I might have been appreciate the class much more (and maybe I would have mentioned Mr. V in my speech also.)

Back then when I received my final grades, I kept thinking that if only I have got an A in my Bible class, I would get straight A’s and become… another Richard (never mind about this.) As now I am thinking back, I am actually glad that it was not an A, or else things would have become really ridiculous.

The thought leads me to wonder if I really deserve all the A’s in the other classes. I realized the difference was that in those classes, I really learned things and my knowledge in those fields have improved a lot. Because of that, I was given A’s even though I was still so far behind my classmates. An A was not showing what level I was at, but how big the improvement I got. Realizing these, I am extremely thankful.

“Hey Anh, how're your grades in college?”

“Are you asking about the official grades or the real ones?”

__________________________________________

I wrote this post last night, after I went to bed about two hours.

The proof

When I was taking my Philosophy course, the professor defined “faith” as the belief without proof (By “proof” means through reasons and logics.) At some points, I can argue that almost everything does not have good proof, but of course we know what he means by this definition. Of course, Christians’ faith is not some unjustified fallacy, and we do have a lot of solid proofs that if only we regulate them with our minds, we may clearly feel that everything makes sense. However, not everyone can obtain such knowledge sufficiently, and since most people are rational thinkers, a slight doubt in a fragment of second of the nature of Christian faith can be unavoidable.

Shamefully, I myself did that sometimes, though I tried to “fix” that by making me become more sufficient with books and prayers. One thing I am so thankful is that any sincere prayer will surely be replied, and yes, He did. Now thinking back about it, I feel it inappropriately funny if some believer asks God for “proof”, but somehow I did ask, and He did give me some “proof”. Though I am going to share the story, it is not a testimony or anything close, but simply a “story” to share.

It happened when I was… flying to Montana for the graduation of Petra (yeah, life is comprehensive sometimes.) Sitting next to me was an old woman. We got to talk to each other, and I knew that she wasn’t an ordinary person, but an eighty nine year-old historian. Well, basically she was a Christian, and she was going to try to “evangelize” me, but since I already was, her story was amazingly significant to me. She was distinctively a rational scientist, many of which are strong atheists. The important thing was that she was a historian professor, and therefore, whatever she could find shouldn’t be too far from the truth. Indeed, from trying to deny God’s existence by finding proof, she was convinced herself by the fact that what the Bible said was surprisingly true. She told me a lot of stories, showing me how the three sons of Noah were really the ancestors of the three races, and many others (I just can’t re-demonstrate all of them efficiently.) And I realized, this was the proof given by God.

How do I know it? Can she tell lies? Can she surely be the historian only because she said that? Was all what she said reliable?... If I wanted to ask myself these, there could be much more, but then nothing can be come up with in the end, and probably the conversation wouldn’t have even existed. I understand what I saw and what I heard exactly how God wants me to. The clear explanation belongs to another dimension of knowledge, so it cannot be provided. The fact is, I saw the proof I needed, was amazed by that, and got my faith strengthened greatly.

It’s 1:16 a.m. right now, and I don’t know what I am getting at. However, I have the formula for my Christian life now: Keep trying, fall, try harder, and pray. Look at me, some of the hair of the black sheep is getting lighter!...

God bless…

The slacker is back.

I clearly know that I did not post anything here for the last two weeks. After I had written Some notes for my readers and couldn’t keep the promise, I truly feel really sorry. There isn’t any excuse should be sufficient - it’s true, but maybe some explanation should be a bit helpful.

First of all, my lack of posting doesn’t really mean that I didn’t write anything at all. In fact, two of my entries for this blog have been done already, and I’ll explain why I didn’t post them later.

After I came back from Bozeman this summer, things have got crazy here. Since I was attending “squeezing” summer classes, one day in class was technically equal to one week in a normal semester. Therefore, skipping a week does hurt. Of course that I do not ever have any hesitation about visiting Bozeman, but then, philosophy final became a tough one to keep up with. I did fine, fortunately. However, my new class, Micro Economics, was even more intense (in a different way). Since I have to read a massively huge text book, it was even much harder for me to keep track with my reading plan! (Oh, my!)

Yeah, it only means that I have to try harder, I know. After all of the things I have learned so far, I understand that hard life is critically necessary. However, the real trouble was that I have been challenged (or I can say, attacked) psychologically and mentally for the last couple of weeks. I cannot tell the story, but since it happened, my finished entries turned out to be confusing that I wondered if I should post them or not (there are nothing wrong with them, though, it’s just me.) Anyway, I am doing fine for now. I am glad and thankful for that.

Wow, this retarded post is getting pretty long. Maybe a tiny random story in the end wouldn’t be too bad.

Last night I had a dream. I don’t know “how” and “why”, but I saw Kim and Rochelle in my dream (!). There were discussing about another girl X (I don’t remember/ know who she was). And the discussion was like this:

K: X is prettier than me! T_T

R: No, you are prettier than her. ^^

K: No! X is obviously prettier than me!

R: No, she is not. . .

So I jumped in and said, “It’s not really matter. Guys like pretty girls, but nice girls are the ones we want to get married.”

Hearing that, Kim and Rochelle was “oh, ok…”

Then I turned to Rochelle and said to her, “So yeah, you should be nice, Galadriel, and you should stop …being taller also.”

At that time, I felt awkward, “What in the world did I just say?!! O.o”

That’s the end of my weirdest story. Thanks for reading till here. I’ll try to post something better next time :D .

Just a lame step of sacrifice

I have been keeping thinking about Mr. Koenen speech at the Petra 2008 graduation. In order to practice the idea of “sacrifice [myself] for ‘something’”, this was the first thing I came up with: The Prince Caspian Operation (!) (When you read to the fancy name of the operation, please imagine some ethic music appears along with it.) This is the second so-called “operation” since …the KKK operation, which surely wasn’t any racial stuff but simply was… how to get to Kim’s birthday party. The mission was accomplished barely in May 2007(*). However, the mission this time seems to be much tougher.

What in the world is “The Prince Caspian Operation”? – Well, everyone should recognize easily that it should involve somehow with the movie The Chronicle of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I saw any single person who was talking about this movie saying that it was perfectly great (one example should be Kim’s “prince caspian”). This just makes me want to watch the movie so badly. However, there are rumors about the difference between the movie and its original version in the book of C. S. Lewis. Also from personal experience of Harry Potter, I believe that it should be more beneficial if I read the book before watching the movie. The thing is, it’s not so easy to do that.

I am now working with the Bible (currently the book Judges). According to my plan, I will then finish the second half of Harry Potter and the deadly hallows, which have been delayed for more than a year. Until then, The Chronicle of Narnia will be read. Unfortunately, I am not the kind of reader who reads several books at the same time, and I don’t want to change my reading plan neither. Therefore, Mr. Prince in the movie will have to wait for a while. And that’s all there is to it.

That’s not an act of sacrifice! – Well, I think that’s a pretty challenging thing to do (and as I said in the title, it is LAME, isn’t it?). Besides, I suppose I need to get some guts before doing some greater sacrifices, and, I did said that was my first step (at the 1^st paragraph) – means that I have been doing “something” else also.

So yeah, I need to finish this post for now, that I can continue the “mission”. Wish me luck! :D

* For more information, please contact Kim's mother, living in where-ever-it-is.

Some notes for my readers

First of all, I want to apology for the lack of writing for a long period of time (from April 11 till May 31, excluded The lil' pride of the black sheep). Of course there are excuses such as “finals” or “I was focusing on my Vietnamese blog”, but they are not really true. When I heard that someone considered seniors’ blogging as Petra (new) tradition, I simply felt that I didn’t do what I was supposed to. Therefore, from now on, I’ll try my best to maintain my blog weekly, no matter if I’ll have no comment at all.

Secondly, I just recently added a comment at The blessed girl as a description, since there wasn’t any comment and I am afraid of some misunderstanding about the poem. So please read it sometime to see if it helps.

The next thing is about the website rssfwd.com. I didn’t see any email telling me that Kimberlee has her new post. However, I then found the message in the “spam” section of my mailbox. So if it is a case for anyone, you can open the email, choose “Not spam”, it will be moved to your inbox, and you are done.

And the last thing I want to say, thank you all a lot. (Yes, you also, even if this is the only glance you’d spare for my blog.) From now on, I’ll try to observe things more, in order to pull something out of my head to write and post. So if it’s lame, please laugh, but not too hard. I’ll cry.

That’s it. Thank you.

For the class of 2008 in Petra Academy

I sometimes take several days to finish a post, but this is the first time I had to rewrite the whole thing. Writing something for Petra graduates is extremely hard, but to do that after I have already been to the graduation and listened to great speeches with all the sufficient points included is so much harder. Therefore, I’ll make it short.

First of all, congratulation!!! You have been through all the hard time in Petra for such amounts of time and yet survive. Even though there is a whole gigantic burden thing for any Petra graduate to bear, you should be proud of yourselves – maybe just for a few seconds. I believe that appreciate your efforts significantly contribute to greater achievements in the future.

Since now you are all petrified, there will not be any difficulty can ever stop you. (Of course I am not talking about the super power to blow a building in one punch – you know what I mean.) However, there are plenty of things out there that are entitled “glorifying God” that no individual should do all of them at once. Therefore, correct choices are important and also efficient, especially when we first “enter” the vast world.

Despite what Mr. Koenen said in his speech, I think sentimentalism can be important. Please don’t forget the time you spent here in Petra. The morning prayer times were good; the lunch times were fun; and the times when the bell rang were splendid. Please don’t forget all the intense house competitions, the Marathons, field days, and many others. You did have some great time, didn’t you?

As always, when one tale is over, another one gets started. Can’t you see, your futures are waving, with colleges, new knowledge, private places, and parties? So, fly! The whole world is waiting! Do sacrifice yourselves and do “something” – as Mr. Koenen said, but don’t forget to have fun sometime. Enjoying life is also a way to glorify God, I suppose.

So yeah, congratulation again, my brothers and sisters. May God bless you all!

The lil' pride of the black sheep.

I don’t know if anyone would care, but we here in MO just had a cultural night yesterday. This year is the first time that we Vietnamese have five people (more than ever). So we really wanted to do something for our country. Using all what we had and doing all what we could, we finally got something to show off. Even thought it wasn’t really great, our traditional dance performance was something for me to be proud of. Hope you like it.

Chong Xa (Waking Up) by Quynh Huong.

Choreographer: me.

Dancers: Ngoc Tran, Chau Do, Phat Hoang, Cuong Duong, and me.

Special thanks to Ms. Ngoc.

The blessed girl

Once upon a time
A girl was blessed
She lived with her father
A carpenter
Near a forest.

Chopping wood was hard
Using it was even harder
Having a lot of stuff to do
He was a troubled father
And so,
The girl was left in the dark
Frequently
The man was gone to work
The house was lonely.
But the girl was blessed
She knew the food he would bring home
Nice meat and bread
Just like every other time
They would all taste great.

Sometimes, the father was drunk
He shouted at her
- as a random punk
The girl got beat up
By wine
And evil laughter
But why, no tear was dropped
All she could think of
Was the new white dress
For her previous birthday
And so, she smiled
For she was blessed.

Time passed by, and people just died
Families hooked up
And they all cried.
And yet, they did – the whole village
Moaning for their carpenter who fall
The lil’ girl was left
When her dad was called
A white towel was a gift
But nothing else at all…

O, he beat me up
The one who was feared
Everything…
…was my loneliness
While he shouted, with tears…

Now he’s gone, thank to God
A whole lot.

Wearing her square-holed white dress
Skipping
Smiling
And living
For she was
Blessed.

A "sufficient" text message

Hey, wassup? “Kool” for “I’m fine”; and “Oh, ok” for “Not really well”. I am heading home right now. Are we gonna do sth for 2nite? “Man, I love to, but I got some stuff to do. Sorry” for “Yes, there’s a party downtown”; or “Oh, I see. It’s ok, next time then” if you say “Nah”. So yeah, see you later. DK.

I pressed send and put my cell phone into my pocket. H. will reply soon, I supposed.

Dance till yesterday

There are different periods of time in each person’s life. Some of them can be so special that we can never forget. The memories in Montana are still here in my head, as always, as ever.

The weather in Missouri, after days freezing and windy, finally gets warmer. Here I am walking on a grass, cool wind blows by, and warm sunlight is spreading everywhere. Here I am, returning to Montana by memories…

O the smell of grass! I am here playing volleyball after school time! Here I am walking slowly by Holden in the park, and I am pulling the swing for Shadiah!

O the sound of gentleness! Here I am playing ultimate freebee, and watching everyone in the two houses fighting with water by the creek.

O the violet color of sunset! Here is Anastasia in front of me, telling me she likes my jacket, and then be gone forever…

O the wind! I am with my team performing our last break-dance show after many days practicing. And here is Kimberlee’s ice cream, nothing but sweet and cold, combining with the wind to push me collapse.

The sky is getting darker, and the air is getting colder. The party is ended, and people are saying goodbye to each other. Here comes Jungmin the Admirable, being hugged by all the girls.

There is anything but rain. Why, let it be raining, or the tears can’t be covered!

Standing alone in the grass with wind and looking at the sunset, the black sheep is home.

Saving faded ideas

There is something really interesting that I just recently realized: inspiration will be faded after awhile. Normally, all what I have been writing was something I was inspired by, no matter where or when. But recently, when my writing time was continuously invaded by many factors, I decided to write the topics down, and saved them for later. They were pretty good ideas, I believe, and I’d love to express and develop those ideas sometime.

But today, when I looked at the undone topics again, I was pretty surprised because I had no clue what to do with any of those! That was a very sad thing, as if I just had lost something interesting and worthy. So I came up with my conclusion that inspiration comes to us in a very short time, and if we are not going to do something with it, it will be gone surprisingly soon. However, the question is: why do we have to do that? It doesn’t hurt anything if you give up some random idea from nowhere, right?

Well, I believe that losing an idea does hurt anyone. Human history is thousands of years already, and therefore, countless of fantastic ideas have been made, yet people still have to make up new one in order to be successful. Since plagiarism is unaccepted and forbidden in many society, especially in the US., making up new idea becomes more and more uneasy, and consequently, new ideas become more and more valuable. To give up such a valuable thing would hurt anyone. When J. K. Rowling got some idea about a story of magic, she wrote it down immediately in a tissue, and so she got the famous Harry Potter. When Bill Gate got an idea of his own company, he gave up college in order to do that, and he became the wealthiest in the world. And when G. Washington saw the fact that his country was ill treated and needed to be independent, if he had just thought “nah, never mind!”, things would have changed extremely much.

Of course I don’t encourage anyone to give up college. (But if you believe it worth it, so go ahead. The Earth is waiting to be saved from monsters!) I also understand that there are bad ideas which would be nice if no one think about. However, as Mr. Koenen said, any idea has its own good side and bad side, and the purpose of this entry is not to argue about that. (Chelsea had to write 20 pages last year just to explain it).

When I am talking about “idea”, it includes important things such as belief or value. All of them need to be fulfilled and reinforced frequently, otherwise the will be faded. Going to church every Sunday, or studying Bible in classes, are indeed important, not only to “know God better” or whatever, but also to maintain and protect our Faith.

That’s all there is to it. It’s Valentines day today, besides loving people, let’s love our kool ideas also.

…

- Hey, I got an idea! We should wear helmets and armors at Petra!

- Well,…

A slacking student

…It was my turn to show off. I had been practicing the routine countless time already. This time, I got to fix my previous failure. The audiences would cheer for me, and screaming my name out loud. Few minutes later, the music got started. The whole body of mine shook excitedly. It was about time…

Suddenly, everything was absorbed into the dark, while a strangely familiar sound appeared. I woke up.

When such a thing happened repeatedly, sometimes I wondered if I really liked the world in which I belonged. Anyway, I tried to move my tired body to turn off the annoying alarm clock five feet away. The only thing I wanted to do at that moment was to go back to my warm bed, and to continue my “show”. I tried so hard to get rid of that thought, and went to the bathroom. I didn’t want to miss the music class again. In fact, I was practicing a very important thing from the book I recently read. It was about endurance.

I opened the door of the dorm, and the freezing air just spread allover. I had no idea that the place could be much chillier than Montana. Gotta go anyway.

The music class was in the furthest building from my dorm. There were two people walking on the street, holding each other’s hand. “Oh my, when will I have someone like that beside me?” I wondered. Well, I shouldn’t have thought anything, just walked, walked, walked…

The air was increasingly freezing. I got nothing to cover my face, so the situation was really harsh. It immediately reminded me the last time I had gone sledding in Bozeman. It was sick that I had had to stand there being frozen passively forever. Just like this time, it was even colder. Suddenly I thought: “Why do I have to do all of this? Why do I have to be in the US in the first place? My friends in Vietnam can stay and enjoy the nice and warm weather...instead of suffering in the harshly cold one – like me…”

“Oh no, what am I thinking? I am supposed not to have such thoughts ever! I am protected by God! Yeah, that’s right! I am protected. My body is being protected. I can do this…”

I couldn’t feel my chin anymore. I tried touching it, just to feel as if I was touching someone else’s.

Argh! The wind was so strong. It blew to me just like I was touched by a combination of fire beam and countless needles. Oh no, it wasn’t cold. It was …hurt!

My shoulders couldn’t move easily anymore… They were hurt also…

Ha! My left head was hurt this time. Was “hurt” a level between “cold” and “frozen”? I didn’t know. Hopefully not.

Oh, there we go! The building was right there. Just open the door, get in, and I would be fine as usual.

I made it. Thank God!

…

The classroom was empty, and I collapsed. The music class was cancelled that day.

The naive English user

Language is one of the most important things for anyone, and also one of the hardest. That’s what I came up with after along time fighting with it.

Before I came to Petra, I had already been trying to pronounce like an American. I kept listen to what they said then try to say exactly the same way. After a period of time, I got better, and I supposed my speaking skill was closer to American than any other Vietnamese I had ever met.

Then I came to the US, to Petra. Not many people could understand what I said, and I had to face the fact that my voice was really different than what I heard from myself. Despite the previous useless effort, I got to do things over again. The extremely intense year in Petra did improve my English, not only my speaking but also my writing and listening skills faster than I could ever get. And so, I came back to Vietnam in joy and gladness.

However, when we stop we are left behind. The following months in college were busy, yet in different way than before. Believing that I got my proper English, I focused on other things. Then Bozeman once again showed me that thought was wrong, totally wrong. The more happiness I had when I became the best student in my public speaking class, the greater disappointment I got when I saw my real English level. The climax was the moment when Holden told me that my English was just the same, and I even lost some gestures which I used to have. It was a much more powerful strike to me than any physical punch I could possibly take. I once again had to face the fact that my English turned worse only.

Therefore, I have to try again – exactly the way I did to survive in Petra. This time it’s only me myself, fighting to survive through the text books to any other kind of junk I can get. The next time I return, I will surely get better, though the improvement may be too small for you to see. I will get better.

ARK

(This entry was originally for the last Thanksgiving. Since I now have different blogs, it'd be more appropriate to move it here.)

“Make yourself an ark of gopher wood. Make rooms in the ark, and cover it inside and out with pitch.” – Genesis 6:14 (ESV)

…

Since I have been reading books, mangas, and watching movies a lot these days, my worldview did increase and get changed dramatically. The annoying thing was: because of that, the Truth became confusing and my Faith came out to be faded a bit.

The more I thought about it, the more amazing it was- that I watched the movie “Evan Almighty”.

The movie was about a man named Evan Baxter. In the night he became a new congress man, he prayed to God, that He would help him to “change the world”. The surprising thing was that God did come to him, and told him to build “an ark”. To follow God’s Word, Evan had to give up his politic career and many things else…

It was just a funny movie, but there shouldn’t be a lot of Christian movies may surpass it. I was stunned with all the ideas conveyed in it.

I admire Evan so much. He decided to pray God in the first place, and he prayed sincerely. Immediately I felt the big shame of myself. Though I have been praying everyday, none of them could be that sincere, and were all covered with the cloud of selfishness. But that’s not all there is to it.

The man Evan, originally was a really clean person. (He shaves his nose-hair every day!). But since he followed God’s Word, he started giving up his manner, and became a hairy guy with shepherd’s outfit. Accept his work building the ark, everything else just messed up completely around him. Immediately I understood that was how “taking a cross” was! At the same time I realized though he sunk among all kinds of troubles and sufferings, it was Love that was given to him by Lord, and he was joyful.

The Faith was portrayed in a really simple but amazingly clear way. Whenever someone asked Evan: “What are you doing?”, he looked at them straightly and said: “I am building an ark.” Then people would ask him: “Why? What’d happen?” He would calmly reply: “The flood is coming.” Just look at his eyes at that time, we can see what the real Faith is, and how a faithful Christian is. Maybe he didn’t know, but his replies, just exactly as what God told him, were the most correct answers any human may get. It is the Wisdom that Lord gave his followers.

All the conflicts combined together at last, and caused the climax. Everything happened just as God’s Word. It is that how we receive or understand it. “The flood” did come, unpredictably through the collapsed dam, and though it wasn’t a real “flood”, it was huge enough to destroy anything. At that very moment, I thought that all the stupid people, who had been gathering around Evan just to mock and laugh at him, would be all gone with the water. But no, actually none of them died! They were all saved by the ark – all of them. It is Lord that forgave them, as well as us, the people who have been fighting and refusing Him at any single step. The answer of Evan, “He choose all of us.” was indeed true. And I was just an evil human, no thing to compare with His Grace.

How can we change the world? The answer was provided: “to build an Ark”, for ARK is any Act of Random Kindness.

The new Thanksgiving is coming. Thank you, O Lord, for all of your Giving and Forgiving also. Amen.

Being melted

Last week was a really hard time for me. It was the only time I had left, before the next semester gets started, which means, it was the only chance for me to prepare for my popping performance. It was pretty much clueless, since I gave up my previous music, and had to make up a brand new one. And I had to make a whole choreography also, despite the fact that I just started my popping career last summer.

Anyway, it invaded continuously my reading and writing time, which is inconsiderable. So I decided to fix it, by writing something about my trip to Montana last Christmas.

Well, as Mama Sukut said, I could only bring “a bag” to Bozeman, so the trip seemed not really fun for me in the beginning. But it was really good to see Mama Sukut and Paige again. The van was full of stuff for sure, but I still could – somehow – get in it, and the trip began.

The trip was long for sure, since we came from Missouri to Montana. (It means we had to go through about five other states – five big one – to get to Bozeman!). However, the trip wasn’t too boring. Instead, I got a really surprising night: I saw shooting stars! It was the first time I saw shooting star ever, and there wasn’t only few of them! Shooting stars appeared rapidly all over the sky. Paige tried making wishes, soon gave up after the third one. (That was good actually, because she was driving, and I don’t really appreciate if the driver just keeps wishing with their eyes closed.) I stayed awake for the whole night counting those stars. There were twenty something at least – really fun to watch.

After about twenty hours, we got home at 3 a.m. Everyone was sleeping in a new house. The house was really huge and nice. My little cute Holdie boy woke up, saw me, said “early” and continued to sleep. No offence but let’s think about this: The only two graduates came back to Petra from college were Juniper and me. When she came back to Petra, the whole school was standing outside waiting for her. When they saw her, they shouted and ran to her, gave her a big group-hug. Compare that with mine; mine was pretty lame, wasn’t it? Nah, never mind. I am simply just a black sheep. :)

My love to Montana was in Bozeman, in Lewistown, and a bit in Helena. This time I came back, there were sad news about Lewistown: Great grandma Vic and uncle Kevil had passed away. Yeah, I know I am just a stranger with out any bond, I did feel deeply sad. I missed the voice of great grandma, and even the smiles of uncle Kevin. Too much for a Christmas, and the loss was big enough for anyone to cry. “Men don’t cry”, but only in the surface.

Anyway, we got a good time there together. Mama Sukut looked younger than last year. Everyone suffers a lot in Petra, doesn’t he? Mr. Brian was nice and fun still.

My little cute Holdie boy had grown up a bit, still young enough to accept me, and to hang out with me well.

Chelsea was still as sweet and caring as ever. But she disappeared a lot, and I hardly saw her around.

Paige stayed home since Christmas, and I had a chance to know her better. She wasn’t too scary as I had thought. It was fun to talk with her.

Shadiah got taller (and bigger) a lot. She turned out to be a real girl in no time, still so cute and energetic.

And Titus was fine. It was good to see him again, and even better to be in “Titus night” every Tuesday.

It’s not ok if I don’t mention Ramington. Oh Ram, we are the only “unsukut” Sukuts, aren’t we? That’s why there are sympathy and caring in our bond. And you didn’t bark when you see me, right? Still remember me? Still don’t forget your companion?

Not only the family, Petra and the church were nice also. I was really glad when I saw “Malakie”, Mr. Baker’s new version. He was really energetic and friendly. He got his father’s smile also. Smile always, Malakie. You have no idea how important and valuable it is.

Mr. Koenen’s family was fine still. Tjabe was much bigger and taller and became more and more like his father. You don’t just be a fine Mr. Koenen, Tjabe. You even inherit your mother’s gentleness.

I really appreciate when I saw children grow up, but children only, not girls! Oh dear, all of the girls got taller too quickly, and made me feel bad for myself a lot. T_T You know what, Galadriel (I mean, uh, Rochelle)? You should stop being taller right now!

I was glad to meet my friends again. Richard, Kimberlee, Mark, Conner… it was really good to see you again. We had good times killing the Ring together. Memorable, weren’t they?

There was a new teacher who replaced Mr. Baker spot this year – Mr. Myers (hopefully I spell correctly.) He was a really interesting person who can get along easily with anyone. I enjoyed his classes a lot.

Ms. Amunrud was fun as usual (!), and her class was still kool. It recalled a lot of memories back...

Mr. V refused me to observe his class! Argh!!! Just kidding. He was more depressed and stressed than before. I wish you would be happier somehow, mister!

Oh yeah! There was a new girl in Pendragon named Madison. She was a pretty girl who kept making me surprised by her talents. I was so proud when I knew there was another person who could replace my spot. Great to know you, Madison.

…

Only when I have a chance to be in different places, I can recognize the differences, and the real values which I couldn’t see before. Oh Montana, the cold and dry place which covered by snow and ice! Since I put my love in the ice, I realized that whenever I stop I would be left behind. And the place, though so freezing, still melted me down by the warmth of gentleness.

Thank you all!