B for Becoming better

When I graduated from Petra, I clearly understood that I was an incomplete graduate, that I lacked so many things which any true Patrafied graduate should have had. Since then, I have been concerned how to become more sophisticated.

I was thinking about it again yesterday night, and suddenly realized one stunning fact: I have learned almost nothing from Mr. V’s Bible Interpretation class! I remember I have tried to ask several questions about Christianity, but they were all off-topic, so Mr. V denied to answer them, and Richard’s responses to my questions weren’t really efficient since I couldn’t understand much what he said back then. As a matter of fact, the only thing I think I’ve learned in that class was merely knowing “what’s going on” in the books Esther, Ruth, and the Gospels. I did not understand the “points” or any innate lesson from them, and I didn’t have any idea what the book Philippians was talking about. How crazy it truly was!

Surely, I am not going to criticize Mr. V at all, especially after watching “true” graduates making their speeches, any single one of them expressed how challenging Mr. V’s classes were, and how many things they have learned from him. However, I truly don’t think it was my fault neither (bad me.) I did try in that class and I got an A for the final, and a high B for the class. The only thing bothers me is that somehow I’ve missed a chance to be a better interpreter, and if only I could go back and attained his class again, I might have been appreciate the class much more (and maybe I would have mentioned Mr. V in my speech also.)

Back then when I received my final grades, I kept thinking that if only I have got an A in my Bible class, I would get straight A’s and become… another Richard (never mind about this.) As now I am thinking back, I am actually glad that it was not an A, or else things would have become really ridiculous.

The thought leads me to wonder if I really deserve all the A’s in the other classes. I realized the difference was that in those classes, I really learned things and my knowledge in those fields have improved a lot. Because of that, I was given A’s even though I was still so far behind my classmates. An A was not showing what level I was at, but how big the improvement I got. Realizing these, I am extremely thankful.

“Hey Anh, how're your grades in college?”

“Are you asking about the official grades or the real ones?”

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I wrote this post last night, after I went to bed about two hours.

The proof

When I was taking my Philosophy course, the professor defined “faith” as the belief without proof (By “proof” means through reasons and logics.) At some points, I can argue that almost everything does not have good proof, but of course we know what he means by this definition. Of course, Christians’ faith is not some unjustified fallacy, and we do have a lot of solid proofs that if only we regulate them with our minds, we may clearly feel that everything makes sense. However, not everyone can obtain such knowledge sufficiently, and since most people are rational thinkers, a slight doubt in a fragment of second of the nature of Christian faith can be unavoidable.

Shamefully, I myself did that sometimes, though I tried to “fix” that by making me become more sufficient with books and prayers. One thing I am so thankful is that any sincere prayer will surely be replied, and yes, He did. Now thinking back about it, I feel it inappropriately funny if some believer asks God for “proof”, but somehow I did ask, and He did give me some “proof”. Though I am going to share the story, it is not a testimony or anything close, but simply a “story” to share.

It happened when I was… flying to Montana for the graduation of Petra (yeah, life is comprehensive sometimes.) Sitting next to me was an old woman. We got to talk to each other, and I knew that she wasn’t an ordinary person, but an eighty nine year-old historian. Well, basically she was a Christian, and she was going to try to “evangelize” me, but since I already was, her story was amazingly significant to me. She was distinctively a rational scientist, many of which are strong atheists. The important thing was that she was a historian professor, and therefore, whatever she could find shouldn’t be too far from the truth. Indeed, from trying to deny God’s existence by finding proof, she was convinced herself by the fact that what the Bible said was surprisingly true. She told me a lot of stories, showing me how the three sons of Noah were really the ancestors of the three races, and many others (I just can’t re-demonstrate all of them efficiently.) And I realized, this was the proof given by God.

How do I know it? Can she tell lies? Can she surely be the historian only because she said that? Was all what she said reliable?... If I wanted to ask myself these, there could be much more, but then nothing can be come up with in the end, and probably the conversation wouldn’t have even existed. I understand what I saw and what I heard exactly how God wants me to. The clear explanation belongs to another dimension of knowledge, so it cannot be provided. The fact is, I saw the proof I needed, was amazed by that, and got my faith strengthened greatly.

It’s 1:16 a.m. right now, and I don’t know what I am getting at. However, I have the formula for my Christian life now: Keep trying, fall, try harder, and pray. Look at me, some of the hair of the black sheep is getting lighter!...

God bless…

The slacker is back.

I clearly know that I did not post anything here for the last two weeks. After I had written Some notes for my readers and couldn’t keep the promise, I truly feel really sorry. There isn’t any excuse should be sufficient - it’s true, but maybe some explanation should be a bit helpful.

First of all, my lack of posting doesn’t really mean that I didn’t write anything at all. In fact, two of my entries for this blog have been done already, and I’ll explain why I didn’t post them later.

After I came back from Bozeman this summer, things have got crazy here. Since I was attending “squeezing” summer classes, one day in class was technically equal to one week in a normal semester. Therefore, skipping a week does hurt. Of course that I do not ever have any hesitation about visiting Bozeman, but then, philosophy final became a tough one to keep up with. I did fine, fortunately. However, my new class, Micro Economics, was even more intense (in a different way). Since I have to read a massively huge text book, it was even much harder for me to keep track with my reading plan! (Oh, my!)

Yeah, it only means that I have to try harder, I know. After all of the things I have learned so far, I understand that hard life is critically necessary. However, the real trouble was that I have been challenged (or I can say, attacked) psychologically and mentally for the last couple of weeks. I cannot tell the story, but since it happened, my finished entries turned out to be confusing that I wondered if I should post them or not (there are nothing wrong with them, though, it’s just me.) Anyway, I am doing fine for now. I am glad and thankful for that.

Wow, this retarded post is getting pretty long. Maybe a tiny random story in the end wouldn’t be too bad.

Last night I had a dream. I don’t know “how” and “why”, but I saw Kim and Rochelle in my dream (!). There were discussing about another girl X (I don’t remember/ know who she was). And the discussion was like this:

K: X is prettier than me! T_T

R: No, you are prettier than her. ^^

K: No! X is obviously prettier than me!

R: No, she is not. . .

So I jumped in and said, “It’s not really matter. Guys like pretty girls, but nice girls are the ones we want to get married.”

Hearing that, Kim and Rochelle was “oh, ok…”

Then I turned to Rochelle and said to her, “So yeah, you should be nice, Galadriel, and you should stop …being taller also.”

At that time, I felt awkward, “What in the world did I just say?!! O.o”

That’s the end of my weirdest story. Thanks for reading till here. I’ll try to post something better next time :D .