I am screwed

This post here is nothing beautiful, sophisticated, appropriate, or something like that. For some people, this may even be offensive or even heretic. If you still want to read a thought of mine then here we go.

So yeah, I am screwed indeed. Recently I realized that since I became a Christian, I seemingly have no chance to get a wife who really is for me. This does sound ridiculous but not too unrealistic.

Here is the deal: After all of these years, I have reckoned that a good wife for me should match me (be like me). I surely know a horde of movies which are about love-without-border and Hollywood does a great job convincing people that we can get married with alligators if we have our “true love”. But what I think is: two totally different people just cannot share their lives with each other. Different backgrounds make the two experience different things, cause them to love, hate, appreciate, despite, believe… differently from each other. An American and a Vietnamese wouldn’t be a right couple since one believes in capitalism and likes Bart Simson, and the other in communism and Thanh Giong (What the heck is “Thanh Giong”? Exactly!). So even though I can easily have a crush with a lot of American girls (and actually I get several new crushes every day), I know none of them are for me.

Vietnamese then! I can just fall in love with a nice Vietnamese girl, get married, convinced her to believe in God, then live happily together forever after or whatever. Oh, if only it’s just that simple!

Actually I used to believe in that until a month ago. I attended a Bible study class and learned how a wife and a husband ought to treat each other (by some verses in Corinthians that I am sure if you ask Richard he’ll know) and so it just doesn’t make sense for a Christian to get married with a non-believer. At the same time, I was discussing with my mother about God (who wasn’t a Christian and hardly knew anything about Christianity), and I realized just how hard to share my belief with someone. My faith and knowledge was only sufficient to convince myself and strengthen my belief. To help another person to know God and follow Him is next to impossible. I won’t be able to do that to my non-Christian wife.

So I will stick with either someone who won’t be truly for me, or a non-Christian wife who will end up being in hell. And trust me, it’s not funny at all.

I know I am wrong thinking like this – to be hopeless because of believing in God/Hope. I just don’t know what is wrong.

Like the outside let it snow

So here so are

Another pretty girl

I’m not gonna fall for that

Pretty girls are everywhere.

You like my glasses, you say

That’s good, and I like them too.

But you are all beautiful

So I cannot choose

Which I like best

To tell you.

And we smile to each other

Though we each belong to someone else

It sucks, I know

But oh well, at least

We feel a bit happy right now

Like the outside let it snow.

The class is over

Like the bubbles of the sea which drop

Then splendidly fly forever

Let me keep myself the joys and the sorrows

Like the outside let it snow.